Qualities of Emotional Resilience

Emotional Resilience means to be able to spring back emotionally after dealing with an adversity. There are certain qualities that emotional resilient people have to help them keep this strength. 

I have taken my experience of my long term injury as one of my biggest adversities in life and related it to these qualities, realising that through this experience I have learnt to become more resilient.

Set realistic Goals
Generally, there was a gradual positive development with my recovery, but it was quite a roller caster experience  Reflecting back, the main reason why it ended up taking 7 months was because I was unaware of how serious the injury was. I was setting unrealistic goals, wanting to audition 6 weeks after my diagnosed fracture (late-diagnoses). Thinking I was being pressured by others to get back quick, the pressure was actually all from me. Although listening to instructions there was not official date/time of the healing process in combination with various opinions, a rare injury and the daunting knowledge of not dancing. This really confused me into one scrambled mess of thoughts and emotions. Therefore I wasn’t fully focusing on what was REALLY best on how to heal, jumping too far ahead, skipping stages needed in the resting and healing process. For e.g.- was told I was able to walk but was in a strap, but had to take it easy. To a dancer, in general, taking it easy means not dancing. However resting fully sends the right messages to the body to heal.
Looking back, maybe it is also because I didn’t know anything else what was better, how I needed to heal. I had guidance, and the best I could attain, perhaps sometime the right information and approach known later on. I learnt more through the experience of it all… by the end, I realized how important it is for us dancers to look after our body as it is our instrument for our career. Feet are our tools. In learning this, I was able to stay strong while having to ask for permission as a brand new member with the company in Cape Town, to stop half way through the season. I had to take it easy, even though I was stepping in for another role, which accounted for a possibility to stay onwards with the company. I feel I gained more emotional strength, became smarter with my choices, thus learning the importance of setting realistic goals.

*One article I read ‘ now is not forever’ helped set this frame of mind where
*“The opportunity to get it right in the build-up phase is advantageous than getting it wrong when it matters!” 

Set Goals
After discovering for myself what is actually realistic, ever since I have been able to achieve a milestone progression-wise! One week was off after just starting with the company, the next week my foot feeling stronger, then the next few gradually building strength through PROPER SUPPORT and EXERCISE PLAN, plus POSITIVITY! This motivated me, kept me in the right frame of mind and now I am dancing, feeling stronger every day and pain free at the moment, which is relieving more than anything else!

Persistence and Determination
After quite a few times thinking of the idea of giving up, I then thought of how much time I have spent all my life training, puttng in the effort to live this career. In a way it was too much of a waist to give up just yet… and so I trudged on. A few times I got back into dance (probably a bit early) and had to take a step back again. Even when I got a more official placement with the company, I still had to take it easy but carry on as a company member, which was hard. However I was determined to show them what I had, and persisted through this tough and painful journey. I am still fighting other little pains and aches, but that is part of a ballet dancer’s life. Your have to learn how to deal with them, be kind to yourself, but also not too slack. Keep telling yourself to just try, try again! In the end,  you have nothing to lose.

Thoughtful, responsible, not impulsive
That is one of my biggest quality downfalls! Sometimes I do things on impulse, rather than thinking of what is the best thing to do in a certain situation. I left to England, two weeks after spraining my ankle. It felt fine, but hadn’t danced on it yet. I didn’t need to go so soon, and should have tested out dancing before going away from home. But I so wanted to move on with my life, that I didn’t think of the risk factors of this ‘misdiagnosed injury,’ even if it was thought to be just a mild sprain. I have definitely learnt from this mistake! The famous saying- ‘think before you speak.’

Communication, good people skills
One of the toughest parts of this journey was communicating to others in a positive way about my situation. Being convincing during a very weird, unknown injury, that I am a good asset to CTCB took a lot of perseverance and being smart on how I approached the matter with them. I told them how much I wanted to dance there, I stayed and watched, and kept coming back. To show I was reliable, but also sensible with my injury has been a tough balance to master. So far though, I have always gone in informing how I am approaching this recovery of mine. And this has helped portray my quality of diligence and loyalty to the company.

There have been a few miss-communications, and am still finding a right balance on getting information across. And if by some reason there is some mis-understaing, I just tell myself that ‘I know what is best. It will all work out’

Learn from past experiences

The key reason why you have/ build up emotional resilience. You are able to learn from the mistakes you made in the past, and from those experiences, they teach you how to deal with the situations and come back on track. 

-Learnt, and still learning that can’t be so harsh on myself, and to take one step at a time. I need to take more care of my body, and not let outside pressures veer me in other or wrong directions. With my past injury, I was scared to show any sort of laziness or signs of pain/injury since I have been back fully. But my body is my instrument, and I do need to look after it and listen to any warning signs. I’ve learnt you have to deal with the situation, evaluate the different circumstances and possibilities, and try find a balance of what is best for my body and keeping a good reputation. 

Feel good, confidence, positivity!

When you feel good, you are going to be more confident, which promotes positive emotions. Those positive emotions drive the person to achieve something, overcome a hurdle in a situation. Thus succeeding!

-After running myself into a dip, feeling frustrated with everything, I became negative and stressed. This didn’t help me at all with healing. With some inspiration from feel-good books, and with support of my family, I decided to become positive and value the little things in life. I decided to really focus on the positives in the present, and not worry about the ‘what ifs.’ I became grateful with all the good aspects in life, which still existed even in a tough situation. This made me find ways to work around my injury to still be able to achieve a few things I was never to achieve at first with negativity. Little by little, one step at a time, everything started to fall into place. If I had a hiccup along the way I just had to remind myself how far I had come and how lucky I was to have so much support and the opportunity to give it all a good try! This abundance of gratitude lead to receiving positivity in my life!

In turn I felt motivated to get back onto my feet, get dancing again, whilst taking it in small steps. I feel like I have achieved milestones with this new perspective on how to approach obstacles.

Mills, H., Dombeck, M., June 2005. Emotional Resilience, MentalHelp.net (online). Available at: http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=5778&cn=298