Contentment

Having just discovered a very inspiring yoga studio recently, I had one of the best mornings and classes ever!
The practice today was devoted to being content. Instead of worrying about what the future holds, or what happened in the past, whatever had been happening outside the studio, off the yoga mat, should be temporarily forgotten whilst having that mindset of being content with where I was at the present time.

This brought me straight back to the main findings of my professional inquiry, which was to be self-accepting of the circumstances and not let worried thoughts mislead one's emotions and actions. It is great to know how even after everything has finished, I can still relate the topic of emotional resiliency in my every day to day life activities. I am so proud to have completed this whole project and presentation throughout the two years. It has been challenging, mentally tiring, and yes sometimes stressful! However I am so grateful for what I have learnt through the process of the course, learning about the skills and surroundings in my workplace, and most importantly learning about myself. This is something one should always be aware of, what they can learn for themselves, how they can grow, and it is a thought I will continue with and always cherish!

Professional Artefact

After finishing and handing in, I am so proud and happy of how my artefact has turned out!

My professional artefact is a 10-minute audiovisual documentary, consisting of the audio recordings and filming of my experience as a professional dancer with Vienna Festival Ballet. It is designed for an audience of young and up-and-coming professional ballet dancers. This is the stage where we find our feet in the dance world; see where we fit in, what works for us and what doesn't. It is our time to really grow as artists and see how much we can push ourselves, where the limits are, and how to deal with the pressures. This audiovisual pulls from dancers' own personal experiences and opinions on how tough it is and how they cope. The module 3 handbook mentions that the artefact can be a product shown to potential employers of its purpose. If directors were more aware too, this could be beneficial for both dancers, directors regarding support and communication, where a lack of these attributes can create adversities to be trickier to overcome.

Main Challenges and Themes

At the start with trial survey, informal discussions with fellow work colleagues and dancers as well as observing and reflecting myself, I have firstly picked up the main challenges we face as dancers and categorised them into themes:

1. Perfectionism
2. Motivation and Inspiration
3. Rejection
4. Injury
5. Physicality
6. Relationships
7. Uncertainty and unstable, short lived career

Through the whole research process of different literature sources (blogs, mental health and motivational websites, academic articles, a dance book finding balance, magazine articles, a documentary series breaking pointe),
I have thus been able to pick up the main qualities that an emotionally healthy and resilient person acquires.

1. Positive
2. Knows how to accept change and what situations can or can't control
3. Mindful and aware of their emotions
4. Motivated and inspired
5. Confident and strong, assertive
6. Has strong healthy relationships
7. Compassionate and empathetic

Diary Entry

These past few weeks have been a mixture of every emotion a dancer can feel and experience; nerves, stress, tiredness and frustration mixed with excitement, laughter, electrifying energy on stage!

Living the tour life while performing every night is mentally and physically draining, yet so refreshing and energizing at the same time. Yes your body gets tired and sore, and you might not feel on top form the whole time. But I truly believe that from the the opportunities and exposure we are getting, especially when the going gets tough, it is from these experiences that a dancer grows as an artist and comes out stronger than ever.

I have learnt a lot on how to deal with setbacks, obstacles and the pressures we face. I am not saying I have found the answer to it all, as I still have a lot to figure out with calmer approaches to handle at times. But every human being will always find some new experience to learn from. However from investigating on topic of emotional resilience in dancers, i have been able to observe and utilise a few skills and approaches that I have picked up and attempted to put into practice.

Breaking Pointe- Part 2

There were various approaches the dancers had to overcome the challenges they were facing. For instance:

·      When the last show came round: Now they have to give it all they got. Although the dancers were physically and mentally exhausted, it showed that having a specific mindset helps to get through it all.

·      During the performance challenges:

o   You can't get hung up on it, you just got to keep on going…If you had a bad performance you have to put it away.

o   Just need to get out there and do what I know I can do, not get caught up in the wrong things

o   Everybody freaks out during out this time...se we all have to pull it together, no time for drama. Just focus.

·      Believing helps! Ronnie found that you need to believe you are perfection from head to toe, as it is your time to shine. Adam believed that Allison has a technical capacity that she might not feel she has

 

Breaking Pointe

Breaking Pointe is a documentary series about the life of a dancer with Ballet West in Salt Lake City, Utah. It covers all the hardships of a ballet dancer, showing the behind scenes of the emotional stresses they face. However through all the drama and struggles, they express why they go through it all:

Ballet is a beauty unlike anything else I have known, but there’s a side that no one else ever sees. We train more hours than an Olympic athlete. We suffer physical pain and shocking injuries. In a cutthroat world that fears competition. There’s rivalry and relationships. To be the best it takes passion, sacrifice and obsession. Why do we do it? We do it for that one chance, to have that one moment on stage where everything comes together. We do it to be perfect.

There are a few scenarios that are carried out during the whole of the series, portraying the struggles of dealing with being perfect, the physical challenges which affect the mind, jealousy and rejection, injuries, pressures from the directorship, professionalism and relationships (to name a few).  

Another inspirational blog

Touring life can be tough, especially when trying to find time and energy in between each show and many hours spent on the bus. Luckily I have enough inspiration to work on the odd bit here and there on the tour bus...might as well get a few things down. A great way to reflect too, listen to my group discussions so far and analyse on Evernote, and read. Recently I have discovered the most fitting as well as uplifting website for my inquiry, and for myself!

Pointe Magazine

I have sourced a few articles from Suzanne Friscia’s blog on the online version of Pointe Magazine, which include fun tips based on scientific or academic studies, for a dancer’s general health and well-being.  

1)Enhancing one’s mood- according to a recent study published in the Journal of Behaviour Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, walking in a happier more upbeat style enhances better moods than walking in a slower and more depressed style.

Tip-“Previous research has already shown that our mood can affect the way we walk, but these results suggest that the opposite is also true. So the next time a difficult rehearsal is getting you down, hold your head high and put a little extra spring in your step as you walk to your next class. It might just give you the boost you need.” (Friscia, S. 2015)

2) Mind over matter: her analysation of a research project on the power of the mind and how it affects muscular strength, shows that imagery and the concept of mind and body connection is an important aspect in coping with an adversity. The adversity used here is injury.

Tip- “So even if you're recovering, or resting between seasons, keep picturing the strong, powerful movement you plan to get back to. It may have more of an effect than you think.”

Campus Session M3- 16/03/2015

For the first time I was able to make a Campus session carried out by Paula. This session gave me the opportunity to reflect on everything I had done (picture)¨as well as making a checklist of what the next inquiry stages should be.

Only Ruth and I could make it. However it worked out well as we could really focus on and discuss our topics together in detail through the different stages of writing up the inquiry process.

Step 1

We first started by our journey and experiences in our work practice whilst starting the BAPP course, which brought up ideas for our professional inquiry. We then explained what our project is about, whilst the other wrote notes on our plan and intentions. This brought up ideas on what to add into the introduction of the critical review. For example:

·      My experiences of rejection, tough times, disappointments etc. in my career lead me to the topic of my inquiry in investigating how to keep emotionally resilient though the adversities in the professional ballet industry. These events lead me to dancing with Cape Town City Ballet and currently Vienna Festival Ballet, which shows that the saying “when one door closes another one opens” is true.

·      The fact that I didn’t give up when disappointed showed some sort of resilience, and so I was curious to see where the thought of this ‘inner drive’ and sensation would take me.

This exercise was a good time to self-reflect, thinking back on how to put things right and change things for the better. I was able to conclude one of the main intentions of my inquiry, which is for my readers and audience to be able to relate to it and to the personal experiences of the dancers and of my own.

Two main questions in this section to consider:

What are you doing?

Why are you doing it?

Further update

Having deferred a term due to a busy performing schedule and a transitional phase in my dance career, I am now back to working on my inquiry. During the 'waiting period' of auditions and Christmas, I was lucky to be inspired enough to read a number of sources, blogging in detail about each source in sections. Thus my thoughts on the emotional health and resilience in ballet dancers have developed further. 

Updated inquiry question: How do professional ballet dancers cope with and maintain emotional resilience with the adversities and pressures of the ballet industry? 

Most of my approaches towards my plan (Task 7a) has stayed the same, however the dancers used will be from my current workplace- Vienna Festival Ballet. This will enable me to get more into depth with the various emotional challenges us dancers face, especially because we are rehearsing all day with one another and will be on tour with each other most of the time until May 31st. It is the perfect setting too to get footage for my documentary, which I plan to present as my professional artefact.   
Thus I will continue with the plan of getting permission from the dancers used in my interviews and video footage as well as from Directors and the ballet mistress.

 “Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions.” – Harvey Mackay

Reconcile With Your Self-Esteem

This information was sourced from another great post by Tony Fahkry about rejection. There are physical affects from the feeling of rejection and jealousy- heart beats fast, a sensation to flee (fight or flight, instinct), painful knots in the stomach etc. Although it can create ‘emotional trauma,’ the willingness to accept and move on teaches a person some good life lessons and skills for later adversities and experiences.

The PERFECT ballet blog!- consciousness, not emotion

To all dancer out there…

I have recently discovered the perfect ballet blog, Setting the Barre by dancer Kisrten Evans with Providence Festival ballet. She gives her readers an insight into what the life of a professional ballet dancer is like by sharing her experiences, thoughts, reflections and observations within her workplace (ballet company). I thought to contact her to ask what her thoughts were on emotional health and resilience, and she posted a whole blog on the topic…which follows exactly  the type of opinions and thoughts I am looking for, for my professional inquiry!

I love how from my research I could instantly identify a few topics that directly relate to what she mentioned. The post starts off with “Live through consciousness, not emotion.” Meaning that having awareness, and being mindful, will help keep those emotions under control, directing any decision made in the right direction. As a dancer, our most important relationship to monitor is between the mind and the body, and that maintaining a healthy balance of support and love between the two is key.  

Finding Balance- Paul Bowler and Wendy Peron

Paul Bowler- Olympic gymnast and performer with Cirque de Soleil

The ideal performer: “ Should also be hungry for such transormation”

“…goal is to have a language, a conversation with the audience…audience sees musicality and artistry… achieving harmony despite the demanding work that is being asked of them.” (Bowler, P. pg. 209)

*Can apply to professional ballet where instead of focusing only on a step, or trick to get everything right, instead to focus on the artistry. Promotes positive and more productive emotions leading to an overall better performance- leads to achieving success and the ultimate goal of performing.

Finding Balance- James Fayette

James Fayette- Former NYCB Principle

*A quality that helps to cope and work with the pressures of perfectionism is persistence.

“Persistence is what he needed to perfect the featured roles he’s danced in…” (Berardi, G. pg. 207)

Managing the intensity of it all-“…you can get too caught up in it and become anxious and tentative.” (Fayette, J.) 

Being too engulfed in the lifestyle and its issues create tentative and anxious emotions.

Good relationship with dance partner helps:

“There’s a level of synergy that we can achieve when you’re dancing with someone comfortable and inspiring.” (Fayette, J. pg. 207)

What helps with overwhelming feelings:

·      Keep grounded in important relationships

·      Positive attitude towards work

·      Feed off inspiration

Finding Balance- Melanie Skinner

Melanie Skinner, a former soloist of Pacific Northwest Ballet, talks about two main adversities that come with dancing- body image an injuries. She mentions that she has seen many dancers struggle to attain the ideal body image. When a dancer becomes conscious and weary of how they look a sense of ‘neurotiscism’ can be developed. "When you're surrounded by mirrors, its inevitable" 

She mentions that with her experience of an injury, “…it took longer to emotionally recover.” However 

she discovered the right mindset after the experience- thus experience helps. “I was devastated then, but things happen for a reason.”

Finding Balance- Jenifer Ringer

Jenifer Ringer- Ballet Dancer, New York City Ballet

Body Image

Even though she was lucky as she was very good, she was more ‘feminin’ and ‘curvy’ which made her feel ‘overcome with self-doubt.’

“Obsession is not productive.” (Ringer, J. pg. 189)

Injuries- “It was at that point that she started to have emotional problems.” (Berardi, G. 2005)

-Often unhappy

-Low self-esteem

‘Lost a bit of joy in dancing’

“It got to the point that the one thing bringing joy was unavailable to me.” (Ringer, J.  pg. 190)

*Having these negative feelings could not help dealing with an injury and to rise above it

Finding Balance- Kent Stowell (Director of PNB)

Kent Stowell gives advice, in the book, on why it is important to have a healthy approach to eating for dancers. He first mentions it is important to have the right knowledge, experience, right frame of mind and approach towards food and eating. Having a healthy attitude towards food can lead to experiencing new things. It not only encourages nutritional well-being, but helps ‘dancers discover other things about food.’ He stresses how important it is to have some type of routine when sitting down for meals- promotes ‘enjoyment’ and ‘creativity’

He hopes that ‘his dancers have nourishing meals- if only to give them a sense of life, somehow,’ and “providing information is the key.”

It also helps aid in the performance skills of a dancer. It is not all about perfecting choreography, but artistry is needed. “We have always encouraged our dancers to think about other things, if for no other reason than it makes them interesting performers.”

Berardi, G. 2005, Finding Balance- Fitness, Training and Health for a Lifetime in Dance, 2nd edn. Routeledge, New York.  

Finding Balance-Donald Byrd

Has a different mentality towards castings and auditioning:

“…an audition was not to get a job but to see if he was interested in the work. If the style didn’t suit him, he wouldn’t do it.”(Bergardi, G. 2005)

Whether auditioning for a specific role within a company or for a specific production, dancers do face rejection. Instead of being so nervous and having all that pressure to try and impress and be perfect, here it suggests to approach casting as a work shop? If the dancer finds that the work suits them, naturally they will do well. If not chosen, i.e. rejection, perhaps reassurance will help, and to know they have something better to offer in some other area/role.

*”This is the only way to survive in the dance world-you have to be your own person…It’s the only way to emotionally survive and find some balance and not be victimize or brutalized by the profession.” (Byrd, D. pg. 108) 

(Being your own person- dance for yourself, be more self-aware: emotional resilience)

Finding Balance- Interviews

Gus Solomons jr.: Choreographer, dancer, director, critic

“Solomon believes dance is a demanding profession but that dancers can find their way when they feel overwhelmed, if they take one step at a time.”(Berardi, G. 2005, pg. 110)

“Dancers tend to beat themselves up. They have a strong will and a strong drive to succeed so they don’t give themselves leeway to fail.”(Solomons, G. pg. 110)

-Having these qualities set up opportunities to become stressed, overwhelmed. Perfectionism creates pressure, making the more pressuring situations less enjoyable. Thus inviting negative feelings to brood.

Solomon mentions that a dancer should realize that he/she cannot always be in control- be aware and accepting (links to one of the approaches towards emotional resilience)

Motivation v.s Inspiration

Following my research on the effects of motivation and one's emotions, I have discovered the concept of the law of attraction from the Secret as well as from Andy Shaw, a mindset strategist, blogger and author of A Bug Free Mind. 
Before I go into more depth about all of this, I have recently read an article by Shaw, suggesting a different way of looking at the connection between motivation and inspiration. He states that, "When you are inspired you no longer need motivation." The difference is that inspiration always comes in abundance. However motivation is like fuel, where you have to consider how much of it you have.